A God That Whispers

You know, He never, never, never ceases to amaze me. Especially when I least deserve it. You know the other day when that old song reappeared in my life and brought with it all the old familiar bittersweet emotions i will forever hold in my heart concerning my sweet daughter's passing away? Well, now i know why.

Believe it or not, my memories that i have on a daily basis of her are indeed happy. Perhaps her little brother will say something that will remind me of something silly she did, or really just about anything can easily bring a precious memory to mind. This is not a depressing thing at all, it is what i have until i see her again. I read once in a book that when our loved ones pass on, it's like they simply walked out of the room we're in and went into another. We can't see them anymore, but they are still there nonetheless.

I know that the position i hold on death is one that MANY do not understand, but it is mine and it is reality to me. This is a viewpoint that i did not arrive to from some sermon or book or even good idea. No this one i lived, and still continue to breathe it to this day. I knew it had moved from being a mere theory to my reality when my grandmother passed away 2 YEARS after my daughter. It continues to be my knee jerk reaction when I am informed of any believers passing. It is how i see the world, and i have my Lord to thank for it.

So back to a couple of days ago, when i heard the song and had a couple of sad days reminiscing with all these old emotions of loss, I asked God "why?". It's not her birthday, it's not the anniversary of her death, yes it's the holidays, and truth be told...i just chalked it up to that, but it was still a little out of the ordinary. Well, today i got a message from a sweet family we had the good pleasure of getting to know 3 years ago. They were the only family that actually stayed in our home while their son was undergoing treatment, a vision the Lord had given us in our hearts when we first moved to Memphis to be together while Bri went through her treatment. When Bri passed, so did our initiative, so the Lord made this tiny glimpse into a reality through another couple we were friends with. You can read that story here.

At any rate, this family that DID stay with us, worshipped with us and we had the pleasure of fellowshipping with, their son went home to be with the Lord last February. Dad found me on Facebook and well mom really wants to visit with me. I did not stay in contact with them, because I'm afraid of being a hindrance to any one's faith when they're believing for a miracle. I have been afraid that my story, my 'views' may make it seem like dying is really OK. I know what it's like to leave no stone unturned, and i think we have to do that for ourselves.

I won't bore you all with my 'mumbo jumbo', just suffice it to say...you know when God interrupts your day with something and you don't know why until a few days later?When He actually shows you the dots for you to connect? i love it when God does stuff like that.